Personal Judgement

I once read an inspiring story online. It was about a girl in China named Li-Li. She got married and moved into her husband’s home. Her mother-in-law was also staying there.

Li-Li and her mother-in-law weren’t getting along. They were always fighting and arguing. Unfortunately for Li-Li, it was customary for her to bow to her mother-in-law’s whims and obey her every command. Her husband was not happy with the fact that they were always fighting.

One day, Li-Li had had enough. She went to a man named Mr. Huang and told him she wanted a permanent solution to her mother-in-law. So Mr. Huang decided to give her poison. But he told her that he wouldn’t give her a quick killing poison so people wouldn’t suspect Li-Li of killing her. Rather, he would give her the one which would slowly build up in her body before finally killing her. Then he advised her to act nicely towards her mother-in-law and obey all her commands as that would remove any suspicion directed towards her.

Li-Li went home and did as she was told to. She started to behave nicely towards her mother-in-law and she began to respect her. This made her mother-in-law change her attitude towards her too and they began to get along. They became close and her mother-in-law was always praising Li-Li saying she was the best daughter-in-law ever. Her husband was very happy with the change.

Some time later, Li-Li went back to Mr. Huang and she told him she needs his help for she does not want to poison her mother-in-law anymore. Her mother-in-law was completely changed towards her and she was like a mother to her and she didn’t want her to die.

Mr. Huang had smiled and told her that he had not given her poison but rather he gave her some vitamins to strengthen her mother’s health. What she just needed was to change her attitude towards her mother-in-law and see the effects.

That got me thinking..what was it that had made Li-Li and her mother-in-law not get along in the first place? Perhaps Li-Li and her mother-in-law had different perspectives in the way they saw things. Perhaps neither was willing to compromise and just wanted theirs to be better. Either way, that had not seen parked out for them. Both had been quick to judge the other on what they had seen and had formed an image of the person in that light. They got along when they realised that the other isn’t just the way they think.

This happens everyday..everyone is guilty of it. You judge based on what you see. It is always good to try to see the good in people.

Let’s see for instance..a boy who is quite troublesome, he flunks classes, he pranks teachers, he vandalises property thereby breaking the law..what everyone will see is a bad boy who they should stay away from..someone that’s a bad influence..someone that has a bleak future.

No one will try to understand why he would do that in the first place. Who knows probably there is a smart caring person lying beneath the debris that he poses as a facade in front of people.

So note, do not be quick to judge. Try to understand the situation and maybe the circumstance will come out better.

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Friendships

Friendships refer to feeling safe, possessing mutual affection and support for a person or people. So when you say you have a friend then you have some affection for that person, you feel safe with him/her and you are willing to provide support for that person and when the person is able to reciprocate, it becomes mutual.

It is a type of relationship and therefore it has its ups and downs but it is quite enjoyable. Yhu get to spend wonderful moments with your friend and the not so wonderful ones too. The point is they are just there when you need them.

Most of the times, your friends are capable of understanding you quite better than most of your folks do and that’s why we are able to tell them most things. Sometimes you might not see eye to eye but as your friendship progresses, you get to understand the other very well. Good friends will always be there to support you, help you grow and will always be loyal and honest with you.

There are different kinds of friends you should have. One is a best friend. One who will always be there for you, one you have utmost trust in so you can confide without fear in, One that would always have your back and is ready to defend you anywhere and anytime, One that helps you grow and will always remain loyal to you. Another is a work pal, one you are very comfortable with at your work place. Also you need someone who is completely different from you. If you are a complete introvert, you need someone as a friend who is an extrovert that can coerce you telling you that you need to get out once in a while and vice versa.

In order to keep friendships strong, you need to be very understanding of your friend, provide help when he/she needs it. Don’t ever leave a friend stranded, you never know in what circumstances you might meet again. Shower them with gifts and favors, ask them for advice so they can know you care quite much about what they think. Offer help so they know you are there. Be the best friend you can be

“Is it a Bad Thing to have no Fights in a relationship?”

#relationships #fights

Everyone knows it is a very normal thing to have fights in relationships. It strengthens them. I mean when you have a fight and it gets settled, you learn something more about your partner, maybe something they dislike or something else. Personally, i don’t think it is possible for any couple to not have fights. There is always something to fight about, even nothing, if you get what i mean, but i also don’t think it is a bad thing to not have fights. That might just mean that you and your partner really understand each other and maybe have the same mindset.

It is said that the best couples are the ones who fight. While that is true, another reason why they are great is due to the fact that they are able to settle it just as fast. It is not healthy to keep grudges while in a relationship. It is better to settle it as quickly as you can. Your communication skills are greatly needed in that aspect. You need to be able to speak with your partner. It might involve a lot of yelling and throwing of things but hey, at least you get the fight settled. (the throwing shouldn’t be occasional)

If the reason you are fighting is your fault then you should totally take responsibility. Be honest with your partner and apologize. If that’s not enough then remember that actions speak louder than words..you can choose to show that you a sorry instead.

Try to be rational, even when you are angry, and listen to what your partner has to say. What you are fighting about might just be a big misunderstanding.

Also whenever you have a fight, make sure you still have respect for your partner. Avoid name calling or demeaning them all in the name of being angry. Try to remember that while some things can still be fixed, words can never be taken back even if you try. So if you know you cant speak to your partner while angry, find something to let out your anger upon and then talk calmly. Everything will work out that way.

Communication

A very important aspect of every relationship is communication. Each person in every relationship should be able to communicate with the other. A lot of problems arise by lack of communication. Everything can easily be smoothed out when they are talked about.

Take Pam and Richard for example. Pam is Richard’s daughter. Richard is very strict with Pam. She is not allowed to go to parties, Richard will not bear to see his daughter drunk and behaving abnormally. She is not allowed to speak except when spoken to. She is only to come back home with grade A’s and nothing else. She is also to study medicine for Richard wants his only child to become a doctor.

But Pam does not want that. She wants to become an artist, she loves expressive art and is good at it. She wants to experience the wild feeling of being a teenager. She wants to be happy by doing what she loves but she cant. So she becomes depressed. She puts on a fake smile for everyone to see. Her self esteem becomes low due to the way her father treats her. She cannot talk to him for fear of what he would do to her. So she goes on like that. She starts to self-harm. Richard doesn’t realize until it is too late. This could have gone down better of they had just talked about it.

How about the case of Alex and Simone? Alex and Simone were to be married. The wedding was most anticipated, but not everyone was happy with it. Few days before the wedding, Alex received some photos from an unknown source. In it were his fiancee Simone getting all cozy with another man. Alex felt enraged that she would do that. He broke up with her without giving reason. Unfortunately, the pictures were morphed. It was done in such a way that it would be real. All of Simone’s clothes and accessories were used. It was hard not to be believed.

Simone never knew why Alex broke up with her. She was devastated but she learnt to move on. Alex found out when it was too late. Simone already belonged to someone else. The outcome of that event would have gone down differently if they had talked about it. What Alex should have done was to have gotten his anger out on something and then sat Simone down to talk about the photos with her. They would have solved it together.

There you have it. Lack of communication in every relationship is detrimental to its health. Learn how to communicate with your partner, dont keep your adventures bottled up. Let them all out and learn how to solve your problems together. That strenghtens every relationship.

TRUST: The Basis of Relationships

Many people might argue that the basis of any relationship is love but I disagree. While love is also very important and paramount in most relationships, trust is the foundation of them. In order to be in a sturdy relationship, then you need to trust your partner.

Trust means having belief in your partner, knowing what he/her is capable of and then being able to defend them with what you know. Of course you cant just trust blindly, the other person has to give you relevant and indisputable reasons for you to trust them. Those reasons might be in the actions or words or even just a gut feeling.

There are many ways in which trust can come. For example, in the case of a child-parent relationship, a child automatically trusts his parent and that trust increases if he is being taken care of and treated well by the parent. When it comes to a boss-employee relationship, you need to be able to prove that you can be trusted.

And when it comes to a male-female love relationship, each one has to play their parts and make sure that they are able to prove to their spouse that they are worth being trusted. Once that is done, each of them should make sure that any doubts they have of the other is immediately smoothed out.

Of course, no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect and one might still doubt their partner at times, for example, when it comes to jealousy but one should always try to improve on trusting the other once those doubts are straightened out. You never know who is waiting in the background for you to split up so they can pounce. Do not give them the satisfaction.

Note that trust is like a glass or an egg. Once broken it can never be the same. So one should try not to break trust once it is given.

**I truly hope you guys liked this and benefited from it. Please comment, i really need to know what you think, hit the like button if you liked it and i would be very happy to answer all your questions. 💖💖💖***

Introduction

Hey everyone!!😁😁 The name’s Rahmah. I am a Muslim so the name is Arabic meaning Mercy. I am so pumped to start this blog and share a lotta things with you. I am new to this blogging thing so i wish you would go easy with me. I promise it will be something worth your time. This site is going to be about relationships: problems you will face..how to keep it moving..how to overcome problems..you name it. It is not just going to be about a male-female love relaationship but also about father-child, mother-child, friend relationships and all. You are very free to as questions..I would be more than happy to give you an answer. I promise it will be worth your while and you wont regret it.

Okaay..it was nice writing this..and i am hoping very much to get a positive response from you guys. Love you all!!💖💖💖💖